1,000 Ways To Say No … or Should It Be Yes?

“Would you like to co-chair this committee with me?”

“Can you work the school auction?”

“Why don’t you plan the family reunion, you’re so good at it.”

Are you the type of person that people come to when they need something?

Is it because you do the best job? Is it because you’re reliable?

Or is it because they know you won’t say no?

Yep, I’ve fallen into that trap many times myself. Its easy to do when you love to help out when you can, and you’re committed to a cause. Whether its being a part of your children’s schooling, being a part of a family, or even being in business, its hard to say no when you feel a sense of community.

But saying no isn’t a bad thing; it’s the perception we feel it puts on our shoulders that we’re afraid of.

“Will they think less of me if I say no?”

“Will I miss out on hidden opportunities if I say no?”

All kinds of things run through your mind.

In truth, saying no isn’t a bad thing. In fact it can be beneficial.

Consider the cost of missed opportunities

If you say yes to something you’re heart isn’t into, and you would rather not do, you may find yourself having to turn down other things that would have more benefit. Especially if you’ve signed up for a long term project.

Planning an event or sitting on a committee takes time. You’ll spend hours working on the outcome, and even more hours driving to/from and attending meetings. What if a new project comes along for your business and you can’t accept because you don’t have the time?

Always ask yourself if you are using your time as wisely as possible.

Look at the alternatives

When someone approaches you with a new idea, don’t answer “yes” right away. Even if you like the idea, ask if you can respond in a day or two with your final answer. Then look at it subjectively over the course of the next day or two. Do a little research to find out how much time this project will truly take. Ask people that have been in the position before how much time they truly spent on the project. Also consider what you could do if you don’t commit to this project. Make your decision based on what you feel is the best thing for you at the moment. [Read more…]