How To Avoid Creepy Crawly People That Try To Bring You Down

I don’t get a whole lot of negative email. But occasionally one slips into my inbox.

I got an email from someone this week.

“You suck. Your stuff sucks. I can’t believe your online and in business.”

Okay, that’s not exactly what it says – but you get the point. (It had a lot of negativity and a lot more *$@% in it then I care to write here.)How To Avoid Creepy Crawly People That Try To Bring You Down

I scanned the comment. Then I looked at the email address. And that’s when I started laughing.

The email address was from a generic account (ie gmail, yahoo, etc) – but in front of the @ was a saying that made the whole thing ironic.

It seems when they created their email account, they felt they were a very ethical, kind, and happy person. Could someone like that really write the message I just read?

Delete. Not worth another thought.

Yet that’s when it hit me that this could be a valuable post.

You see I’ve been online long enough now to be called every name in the book. I’ve had some of the worst comments in the world posted to pretty much every account I have. And when I received the first one, it stung more than you can imagine.

I questioned who I was, what I was doing, and a whole lot more.

Gradually I pulled myself back up and moved forward.

Number two was easier. Number three was even easier.

You see, if you’re going to subject yourself to the online world, negativity comes along with it.

When people are comfy, cozy in their homes or offices and don’t have to see the deprecations of their actions, they can sling mud all day long. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe things aren’t going right in their world. Why not share a little of their misery with everyone else too.

Maybe you’ve heard the horror stories. Maybe you’re worried about the same thing happening to you. Guess what? It’s unavoidable. If you’re online, it will happen to you.

  • Someone will tell you your photography is crap.
  • Someone will tell you that you suck.
  • Someone will rip you apart in language you’ll hopefully never hear in person.
  • Yes – you will be bullied. In an extreme way.

And the more successful you become, the more likely you will have these comments posed directly to you.

How do you handle it?

Realize you shouldn’t take it personally. Yes, their goal is to tear you down. But only you can allow them to do it. In the online world, your best friend is your delete key. If you don’t like something – delete. And move on.

Do they continue? If someone sends you one rude message, delete and be done. If they send you something again and again, ignore and block. Whether in your email, your blog or your Facebook account, there are features in place that allows you to block contact with certain addresses. Do what ever you can to get them out of your life. If you don’t respond, over time they should lose interest.

Never, never respond angrily. In some cases, a message can really hit home. Maybe it sets off your anger. Or it makes you very emotional. Step away from the computer/phone/tablet. Put it down and go for a walk. Yell about it. Scream about it. Cry about it. But never respond. If you respond, you’ll say something you regret. And it could elevate beyond anything you can imagine. (Amy’s Baking Company recently found out the hard way in the past few weeks.)

Focus in on the positive. Every day I hear from people that have nothing but positive stories to share with me. Like this one.

Thank You! Your advice was such a gift of peace for me.  I wasn’t quite sure where or how to start.  Thanks for taking the time to listen and help a total stranger!

Your best clients love you and what you do. And when they tell you, put it in a file to go back to when you’re having your hard days. It will be a constant reminder that you’re on the right track, doing exactly what you are meant to do.

8 Things Unhappy Photographers Never Ask

8 Things Unhappy Photographers Never Ask

What forms your opinions? What creates the way you approach your business?

Yes, it can be the successes. We all love to celebrate when we hit milestones and major achievements.

But it can also be the negatives as well. Anxiety, fear, failure, worry – they all play an equally important role in our business lives.

The problem isn’t the negatives – it’s the way we approach the negatives. When the unhappiness and stresses start weighing you down, how do approach each new day? Are you asking yourselves the right questions – and approaching the answers in the most successful way?

“Should I look for another path?”

Imagine you’re on a freeway. As you travel down the road mile after mile, you’ll be faced with all kinds of choices. An exit for this place. An exit for that. What if you go too far? What if you get off too early?

Life is filled with choices. Sometimes you take the right path, and sometimes you don’t. If you get off the path at the wrong turn, you may need to take a u-turn and get back on the main trail. You might have to move forward to a new exit. Or evaluate paths you’ve passed up in the past.

An unhappy photographer looks at their current position as a sign of the times. They don’t realize they have an entire map at their disposal. They don’t realize that a simple turn could lead them to better times.

“What makes me happy?”

Does the concept of being happy even cross your mind? Or do you take things as they happen?

Happiness makes you feel alive. It allows you to follow your dreams, be happy with whom you are, and find new ways to share your happiness with others. Your standard of happiness doesn’t have to live up to societies definition. It just has to work for you.

An unhappy photographer focuses on the negative. Why can’t I get ahead? Why is this happening to me? They ask all kinds of questions in the negative tense, without realizing the only thing holding them back is their view of the world. [Read more…]

8 Questions That Will Lead You To Quit The Photography Business

8. How will I find the money to buy more equipment?

Photographers love equipment. The newest camera body or a really great lens has been known to send shivers down a passionate photographer’s spine. But when you find yourself starting to book photo gigs just to have enough money to buy the latest gadget, you know you’ve reached a whole new level with your photography.

Pricing Your Photography

7. Why do I have to market my business?

I get it; photographers love to photograph, but they hate to market their business. It’s time to get over it. If you are in business, you have to market, and you have to sell. That’s the only way to bring in money, bring in profits, and survive as a professional photographer.

6. How do I compete with the dozens of photographers in my area?

The best photographers out there today don’t look at those around them and wonder how to compete. They find a way to stand out in the crowd. They combine their passions, like Christina Morassi has done. Or they take an old service and add a new twist, like Lauren Victoria Burke has done. Or they give people exactly what they want, like Karma Hill has done. [Read more…]